Travel Blogging Until They Die
Current Travel Blogs In The Future
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Some travel blogs are abandoned mere days into a trip once it is realised how much work is involved and time taken away from the enjoyment of travel. Others peter out when the journey ends, real jobs are taken and lifestyles change. There are many reasons why a blog started today will be neglected and end but some travel bloggers are in it for the long term. Here’s our take on the most popular travel blogs in 2050.
Can’t Find Anything Anywhere – Gary Arndt is never quite able to complete his goal of visiting every UNESCO site on the planet. Instead he is thwarted by the Sisyphean task of continuously searching his hotel room for his mislaid shoes, bag, trousers, camera…
Who is Tara? – As she reaches her dotage this question is asked most often by Tara herself.
Mind Wandering Earl – Unable to focus on anything for more than a couple of minutes at a time, Earl Baron gets his stories all jumbled up and even starts to believe his name is really Derek.
The Planet Wee – Moving too far away from the toilet is the biggest adventure for this couple.
Almost Ending Footsteps – With her record of mishaps friends shake their head in wonder Lauren has kept going this long.
Fluent in 100 Years – Try as he might Benny the Irish Polyglot can’t wrap his head around another language and increasingly resorts to shouting loudly at foreigners in English.
Runaway From the Home Juno – Forever trying to escape to the other side of the world, Juno sees out her days as a pain in the neck to the staff at The Sunny Pines Retirement Home.
D Travels Underground – After a lifetime of adventures Diana Edelman takes the final journey.
1 Granddad, 1 Dad, 1 Kid, 1 Crazy Adventure – Talon Windwalker and Tigger carry on travelling with another generation added to the mix.
Can’t See to Write – Michael Hodson’s overland travels are by wheelchair and zimmer frame in search of increasingly stronger spectacle prescriptions.
Rambles of Adam – Gradually morphing from the coolest cultural things to do around the world into medical tourism, Adam Groffman’s blog keeps us up to date with his hip replacement travels.
Incontinent Kate – Long bus rides are no worries as long as Kate remembers to pack her incontinence pants.
PTramping – Incontinence also takes its toll on Agness and Cez.
Where Are Those Morons? – The years have not been kind to the scientific minds of Mark and Kristen and staff at the Sunny Pines Retirement Home for Travel Bloggers are just fed up scouring the local woods every time they go AWOL on yet another unsanctioned hike.
Changes in Attitude – After 50 years of marriage Larissa and Michael get increasingly cranky as they loudly bicker and argue their way through six continents.
Milk and Mush – Beers and beans are the last things Beth and Randy want once they develop peptic ulcers.
A Little Tagamet – Shannon is able to keep on travelling with a little relief from heart burn and acid reflux.
Don’t Stop Living – Jonny Blair takes his blog title literally as, connected to a mobile life support machine and assisted by a nurse, he continues to teach in Hong Kong and travel around China.
Leave Your Daily Smell – Though the ravages of time leave Robert Schrader in pretty good condition his chronic flatulence becomes his own personal hell.
Not So Hecktic Travels – The housesitting gigs get longer and the journeys in between fewer as Dalene and Peter slow it down.
Update: Some of these blogs didn’t make it more than a few years despite our prediction – let alone 30+ – while a few more have rebranded so our crappy puns no longer make any sense.
Travel Blue Rinse Repeat (Travel Rinse Repeat) – John might be a fella but that doesn’t stop an inexplicable desire to sport a granny hairstyle.
Travels With a Ninety Year Old (Travels With a Nine Year Old) – The roles are reversed as Zac takes over and reverts the site to a version of its old name. Unable to stick the old dear in a home he instead goes around the world with Granny T one last time.
Time for Your Nap Dear Escape (Gap Year Escape) – Stories and advice from grey gapper Amar Hussein’s 53rd year out.
Part of Back Lacking (Art of Backpacking) – Michael Tieso extols the virtues of wheelie suitcases when a vitally needed operation curtails his backpacking days.
Katie Going Senile (Katie Going Global) – Age hasn’t stopped Katie’s travels, she just can’t remember doing them anymore.
Stop Having a Life (Stop Having a Boring Life) – Rob made the most of his life but now it’s over.
No More Existence (Eager Existence) – Are you really living? Or merely existing? Ultimately the answer, I’m afraid, is neither.
No Travel Sex Life (Travel Sex Life) – Will Peach’s blog descends into a series of Frankie Howard style double entendres when even industrial doses of Viagra can’t help him get it up anymore.
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Image courtesy KB35
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This piece was first published in an older version of our blog which included the following comments:
Sudha said: “Stumbled onto your blog via SuzyGuese. Whoa, that’s an impressive list. Going to bookmark it to read it in detail. Here’s my latest if you’d be interested. http://seekandhide.in/blog/theyyam-a-divine-dance/”
– we replied: “Thanks Sudha, and thanks for sharing your post too.”
OCDemon said: “I hope somebody takes inspiration from this to start his or her own Grumpy Old Complainer travel blog written entirely in-character as an imaginary curmudgeon whose day can never be one of sunshine and contentment. Oh wait, Ricky Gervais did that already, as An Idiot Abroad. Dammit!”
– we replied: “I think I’m getting there. I do a good line in whinging about mountains.”
Talon said: “Love it! Although by 2050 it just might be 1 Great Granddad, 1 Granddad, 1 Dad, and 1 Kid. LOL”
– we replied: “That will sure make for a long twitter handle.”
Mary said: “LMAO, this was great! Zac reversing the roles and Talon with grandkids traveling, I can’t wait!”
– we replied: “Considering we killed two bloggers off and inflicted bladder problems or senility on several others, Theodora and Talon didn’t do too badly.”
Matthew Karsten said: “ha! Mind Wandering Earl, Can’t See to Write, and Incontinent Kate have to be my favorites. I’m just picturing all three of them in their 70’s.”
– we replied: “And all going stronger than I’ve made them out to be here, I hope.”
— Michael Hodson replied: “Right now, I feel like I’m already in my 70s… and it ain’t easy.”
Oceana said: “Hahahahaha! Great list. Love the little changes you’ve made name wise”
– we replied: “Thanks Oceana.”
Katie said: “Thanks for a good laugh first thing in the morning!”
– we replied: “My pleasure. I had to use a bit of artistic license with you when you changed your blog’s name.”
Sarah Somewhere said: “Ha! Classic, well done!”
– we replied: “Thanks Sarah.”
Erica said: “HAHAHAHA! This is a fab list!”
– we replied: “It’s All Over, Yonderlust – do you think that might have worked for you guys? Best I could do, I’m afraid.”
Jonny Blair said: “Thanks for the mention on here guys – honoured to be on this list!! I’m addicted to travel and addicted to travel blogging! Hope I can still use a keyboard when I’m older… safe travels guys!! Jonny (Don’t Stop Living)”
– we replied: “You’re welcome, Jonny. I only discovered your blog recently and didn’t even have to think of a new name to add you to this list. I should of imagined you as a Cyborg though.”
Yeity said: “2050 eh, seems like I’m still waiting on that flying car. Maybe we’ll be able to blog IN our hovering cars!”
– we replied: “Don’t hold your breath, Yeity. It’s the year 2556 here in Thailand and still no flying cars.”
Adam Pervez said: “Nice list! Lots of incontinence though.”
– we replied: “I know. Must be a consequence of holding it in on all those long journeys. Something had to give eventually.”
Maria said: “Fantastic list – would be something to collect them all in the same retirement community 40 years from now.”
– we replied: “Can you imagine just how many blog posts, tweets, facebook updates and Instagram photos of pureed lunch will come out of that place.”
Suzy said: “Ha! I can’t wait to see some of these travel blogs in their elderly years. Senior travel will probably boom around that time.”
Cacinda Maloney said: “Ba Ha Ha, I got such a laugh out of this post!! you are funny!”
– we replied: “Thanks Cindy.”
Raymond said: “Damn this is funny! Especially loved ‘Travels with a Ninety Year Old.'”
Dalene said: “Ha! This is gold!”